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#1
Commandant

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2lljdcx.png

Should be "You may cast that card..." in the reminder text for Miracle.



#2
Guest_SupremeKrenko_*

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I see where you WANT to go with this, but it doesn't work at all.

First of all, you have to change its targeting:

Instead of  "Target spell in your hand" you could go for "Reveal an instant or sorcery card from your hand".

 

The original miracle-mechanic is very simple: Extremely reduced cost in the turn you draw it.

At the same time, this mechanic is a VERY easy target for cheating (since no one can prove you wrong for just playing this card etc);

I don't know how it was handed in tournaments, but on the kitchen table, me and my pals usually play it like you have to cast immediately from the draw, if you want the miracle-bonus.

 

This leads to some problems for your card:

1.) The X-card exile is not really an asset for your play. It requires you to have a decently full hand and just throw it away for just one other spell.

2.) The whole "target card"-thing seems rather ungraceful and not very precise; You don't even have to call it "miracle", you know.

 

How about this:

"{t}: Until end of turn, the top card of your library is revealed.

 As long as the top card of your library is an instant or sorcery card,

 whenever you would draw this card, you may instead cast it for its

 converted manacost reduced by {x}, where {x} is the amount of colorless mana

in its manacost."

 

How about making her an Angel Cleric, instead of just Angel?



#3
Commandant

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1.) The X-card exile is not really an asset for your play. It requires you to have a decently full hand and just throw it away for just one other spell.

It counts the total CMC. I figured that you would have some high cost spells in your hand so that you can pay the cost with one card.

 

It was intended for EDH/Commander, the idea being that you would build with specific CMC cards in mind, if you were to use Mira as a general.

 

Second version. Would this work better?
1zbtaag.png



#4
Guest_SupremeKrenko_*

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This on the other hand is totally awesome.

Maybe write "you may play this card with its manacost reduced by {x}" instead of "that spell costs X less to cast",

so you would still have a similar feeling to miracle; Reducing the manacost extremely, but not negating it.



#5
Commandant

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The wording "reduced by {COST}" is only found on Flash, whereas "costs {COST} less to cast" is found on many more cards (most notably, the reminder text for affinity).



#6
Guest_SupremeKrenko_*

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It's just that

"When you draw an instant or sorcery card, if it is the first card you drew this turn, you may play that card with its manacost reduced by {x}, where [...]"

is just one sentence.

Although both variations technically describe the same effect, the current version consists of TWO sentences instead of one and is at some points too long;

It is useful to keep a quick flow in your texts; It is more visually appealing, if there is as few text as possible on a card.

I'm not discussing actual MtG-material here, I'm trying to show you more elegant ways of designing the "pathos" of your writing.



#7
Commandant

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348spkj.png
Practically the same length.



#8
Guest_SupremeKrenko_*

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Yes, but still the latter one is easier to read.

But it's not like I'm trying to force you into another way of writing, after all it is just the card that matters in the end.

How about I just look at the newest card you made instead of arguing about the aesthetics of  written language?



#9
shaatom

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i like the last card but i think it should be a 3/4 atleast maby even more cause for a mana cost of 6 you might expect something bigger if you look at Bruna, light of alabaster you see that it is the same mana cost and it is a 5/5 with a nice ability ( it's a mythic legendary ofc but still)  2/3 is pretty low for 6 mana






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