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door to everthingness

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Started by monarch111 , Mar 19 2014 12:08 PM

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#1
monarch111
Posted 19 March 2014 - 12:08 PM

monarch111

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Door to nothingness on steroids.Attached File  door.jpg   196.23KB   0 downloads


#2
Guest_Exmortis_*
Posted 19 March 2014 - 12:23 PM

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Since this basically a parody of Door to Nothingness (or at least it's trying to be one) this belongs more into unglued than into R&D.

You might want to keep it more peaceful with this whole swearing-thing. The Demon King was entertaining, but most of your cards feature some weird innovations, such as the creature type "bitch" or this particular flavor-text here.

Hopefully you can withstand such criticism: The truth is, that it is not funny. Don't get me wrong here; I am a fan of spicing up your verbal humor, but to be actually funny, it needs the basic elements of a joke, like for example a proper build up or (regarding searing) this sudden moment of astonishment. Like your Demon King. There this phrase about "Don't fuck with him [etc]" is bound into the rule text, although being the flavor, leaving the reader with a short moment of confusion to think it through, possibly even regarding it as funny. Here on the other hand, it doesn't work at all. It's just "Eat shit, motherfucker!" without any connection to the card itself and especially without a joke. Why is this card in R&D anyway?


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#3
monarch111
Posted 19 March 2014 - 12:26 PM

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You are right, I will try to do better in the future. Thanks for your input


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