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Hi i recently began to think about me doing a magic cube set. and so i started doing some early consept cards and id like to share them with you for comments and suggestions. they are not made on this website as i could not load any of my previuslt made cards here :S weird and duno how to fix it. so here they are. thinking of changeing the name of the last one
http://mtgcardsmith....dletter<br><br>http://mtgcardsmith....of-fate<br><br>http://mtgcardsmith....twright<br><br>http://mtgcardsmith....e-skeleton-king
The Start of a Cube Set
Started by
bloodclaw43
, Oct 16 2013 01:02 PM
#1
Posted 16 October 2013 - 01:02 PM
bloodclaw43
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#2
Posted 16 October 2013 - 02:39 PM
Diablerie
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Nirri..
Well, should it be 'target player loses 2 life and draws 2 cards.'? Its better to have that as one time /turn? Killing comes too easy with that as it is.
'Gains'.
Other than that; good card, i think..
Liked the Nessiah. Great artwork. High power. I would limit the boosting with tap.. but whatever.
Quite a Bad Moon set there. It feels a bit like having the big black ones and goblin deck in the same deal..
#3
Guest_SupremeKrenko_*
Posted 16 October 2013 - 03:05 PM
Guest_SupremeKrenko_*
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Just WHAT?
This may sound a bit harsh, but I am trying to give you my honest opinion:
Most of the cards are just edited wrong; Confusing MtG's basic rules and such is normal (most of us do this frequently, even those actually playing magic), but your cards tend to be utterly confusing:
A plainswalker with Types instead of his name, while creaturetokens have names (although they're not legendary), a multikicker for {0}.
Also a whole bunch of these cards have not even proper artworks. Nobody expects you to be on a professional level of digital or classic art, but you have the Internet at your disposal; Anything drawn by anyone on the internet is just one websearch from being used. All this screenshots and especially this one manga-picture are extremely distracting; It's difficult to take your cards serious.
And about the actual cards, they are poorly balanced: Some of them are totally broken, while others are just weak. That is especially true for your black plainswalker whateverhescalled-Mizzet; Although I like the concept of a plainswalker who doesn't actually pays with his loyalty (HIS loyality to you; Not the other way around), but instead just grows stronger. Not only is his charge-ability totally useless, since you basically clear your whole board, when playing a token deck, while his second ability is VERY situational, but his last ability just kills him off in ANY way you use it.
And then there are always cards that are clearly not to be taken serious and should be taken to the unglued-section; What's up with the name Nathan repeatedly occurring in your cards?
Oh and btw: Did you use the -----g "Scream" as MtG-Artwork?!
http://mtgcardsmith....-tough-decision
#4
Posted 16 October 2013 - 03:58 PM
bloodclaw43
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im sorry but are you looking at my cards? i have no names with nathan in them O.o and please i cam here expecting some constructive critism, if you dont have the time to do that plz dont just yell at me for doing some stuff wrong. and diableri thank you for your post i agree with you prescisly. and for all that wonders why the planeswalkers name is weird is becouse its supposed to say The bloodletter. just a typo and his 0 abilitys is actully +X for the first and the last is -X
#5
Guest_SupremeKrenko_*
Posted 16 October 2013 - 05:34 PM
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My bad 
I didn't realize that not only cards but sometimes also creators changed while browsing through them.
It is rather confusing to look up your cards this way. Is there no way to post them in a clip show limited to your cards?
Also, only because I wrote in a slightly harsh manner, doesn't mean my criticism was not constructive.
Maybe I should break it down in a few simpler sentences:
1) Some cards are not aligned to the rules of magic.
2) Your balancing is still bad.
And about your planeswalker: You kind of misunderstood me.
There's absolutely no problem with the name. Ghoor Nizzet, the Bloodletter sounds actually kind of catchy; The point is, that he can't be a Zombie Berserker. At this line, the correct text would be Planeswalker - Ghoor Nizzet.
The problem I have with it is, that you gave him a very self-destructive +x ability, a useless second ability and an ultimate ability, that always kills him.
If a planeswalker damages himself with damage EQUAL to his loyalty counters, he ends up with 0 loyalty and dies; You can only cast it once.
#6
Posted 17 October 2013 - 12:47 AM
bloodclaw43
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a sorry, yesh i misunderstood you ^^ shall change that about the type. and the abilitys are as you say very self destructive as they are meant to be! he's a berserker he doesent care he just wants to get high loyalty and then go on too suicide himself to deal massive dmg, its kinda how this planeswalker functions.
about the rules, can you give an example? id really love to know since i want this cube to be as good as possible
and the balanceing do you mean my cards are to strong or to weak? if we take the example of the spider avatar, is she to strong/weak cuz i consider her kinda balanced between her cmc of 10 and only being 7/5 capable of puting out some meeger 0/1 spiders quite fast
ahh and yesh here is my portfoilio only containing my cards http://mtgcardsmith....r/Emil-Pedersen just remember not to browse throuh them, you need to look at them one and one
#7
Guest_SupremeKrenko_*
Posted 17 October 2013 - 03:27 AM
Guest_SupremeKrenko_*
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Let's go through them one by one:
Nessiah the Nightwright
Usually necromancers are generalized as wizards or shamans (depending on the kind of necromancy they practice). I would reduce the manacost of his ability to {3}, in whatever combination you prefer.
Just take Vault of the Archangel as a comparison: It's a utility land, granting you either {1} to your manapool, or Deathtouch and Lifelink to all(!) of your creatures for around the same price (only in b/w).
Since you only target one creature, you can easily go down with the ability costs.
Nirri, the Weaver of Fate
Two-walks and Undying is a rather odd combination. You could just give her intimidate or fear instead. Although Fear is slightly outdated, multicolored creatures have less benefits of intimidate (since they can be blocked by both of their colors and artifacts), so I would go for fear. The right text for the first ability would be "Target player loses 2 life and draws 2 cards.", while it would be "This gains +1/+1 and trample until end of turn" for the second ability. Although I prefer the flavor of this card over Nessiah, there are lots of changes to make here: First of all, to get the feeling of a realistic magic card remember the golden rule of success: MtG-Players LOVE grey numbers. making your ability costs {g}{g}{1} or {b}{2} makes cards more versatile and overall more visually appealing. Since you play on having Nirri unblockable amyway, trample is not important enough, while the short lived statboost is too weak; Why not make it "Put a +1/+1 Counter on target creature you control, it gains trample until end of turn"? Also The tokens you can create with her are far too weak. Remember her high manacost;
When only using her, especially when shes your last creature on the battlefield, you can use her first and last ability both two times, dealing four damage and getting two 0/1's. That's weak for a card with a cost of rocking 10(!).
My suggestion would be:
Nirri, the Weaver of Fate {4}{b}{g}{g} 3/4
Fear, Undying
{b}{b}{1}: Target player loses 2 life and draws 2 cards.
{g}{2}: Put a +1/+1 Counter on target creature you control, it gains trample until end of turn.
Whenever Nirri, the Weaver of Fate deals combat damage to an opponent put a green 1/2 Spidertoken onto the battlefield for each +1/+1 Counter on it.
Ghoor Nizzet, the Bloodletter
I see where you're going with his effects, but the problem I addressed earlier is not his self destructive behavior in general, but that the actual effects are to self destructive for the player.
Sacrificing all tokens you control by these types is just outrageous; Against most players, you don't have time to even create such a mass of tokens, especially since you can't decide to just sacrifice one or two, but indiscriminately ALL of them. Also his manacost is far too high. My suggestion would be:
Ghoor Nizzet, the Bloodletter, {3}{b}{b} 3L
{+1}: Ghoor Nizzet deals 2 Damage to target creature; If it is put into the graveyard this turn, put an additional loyalty counter on him.
{-2}: Destroy all creature tokens on the battlefield with Toughness equal or lower than Ghoor Nizzet, the Bloodletter's loyalty.
{-x}: x is equal to Ghoor Nizzet, the Bloodletter's loyalty. Ghoor Nizzet, the Bloodletter deals x damage to all opponents.
I don't have the time right now to look over all the other cards, but I may come back to it later.
Btw there are not really any problems with the ruling; Tired as I was, I mistook the whole clipshow of random cards for yours, getting very confused how there could be such a rapid change between design choices and quality.
#8
Guest_SupremeKrenko_*
Posted 17 October 2013 - 04:38 AM
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I just looked over some of your cards. Maybe some general help for you:
1) If a creature has two different colors in distinct manasymbols, it has a golden border.
2) You can't just say Spidertoken or 1/1 Spidertoken; The formula is *stats*+*color*+*Types*-Token/creaturetoken (with *ability). For example "Put a 1/1 green Spidertoken with reach onto the battlefield".
It's common to get this out of order (I do it too, all the time), but it gives the cards consistency and makes them blend in more easily with existing cards.
3) There is usually no subtype Undead; Rather than that, undeads are either skeletons or zombies.
4) All keyworded abilities and creaturetypes have a color alignment; For example first strike is a red or white mechanic, while regenerate and deathtouch are shared by black and green. Confusing them may confuse the vierwer, although it works just fine occasional.
Also, I may take some more time to look through all of them in detail, but I can definitely tell you, that Werwolves, producing undead tokens for mana just feel odd,
and that most of your undeads (especially Undead Giant) seem to be a bit weak.
Btw, was the artchoice for unburial on purpose^^? It looks totally confusing since it is also the artwork used for an existing magic card called "Unburial Rites". It even has a similar effect.
#9
Posted 17 October 2013 - 05:02 AM
bloodclaw43
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the art choice was intentional since i wanted that exact image and thank you for the info i shall totaly correct all above things when i can( since you cannot update already made cards so i have to corecct them in photoshop when im going to print them for the cube) and the Giant is suposed to be fairly weak since my uncommon rares are sometimes really powerfull the keyworded abilitys ''color aligment'' i have redone for the cube so that undying are for example a G/B keyword and that exalted are a R/B one. it might be confuseing now but when the set is done it think you will get it ^^ once again thank you ^^
how about werewolfs creating tokens on kill? like if a creture has taken damage by ''insert werewolf name'' dies this turn put a 2/3 black zombie token onto the battlefield?
#10
Guest_SupremeKrenko_*
Posted 17 October 2013 - 05:17 AM
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#11
Posted 17 October 2013 - 06:06 AM
bloodclaw43
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heheh true
i was even thinking since nessiah is a ledgendary 2/3 his ability could even be 1{b} and 1{u} since alot of his power budget goes to his abilitys
as for the nissa if i reword her to be more fitting change the prizes to be 1{B}{B} and 1{g}{g} droping her to 8cmc she could be playable as she is? the spiders that she drops will not be 0/1 for long anways since i will have spider broodmothers and stuff boosting other spiders
and i actully like EVERYTHING about what you did with ghoor you know what feeling he should have i think 
my question is what do you think about the skeleton lineup? to good? bad?
#12
Guest_SupremeKrenko_*
Posted 17 October 2013 - 06:57 AM
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As a set they are actually pretty interesting.
But they lack some kind of coordination; The exalted captain is interesting, but you have no other creature that really benefits from attacking alone (like, for example, Nefarox, that exalted powerhouse)
or skeletons that are exalted on their own. Also you have no Sac's to force the tokens to come out.
Maybe you should consider splitting them into three "classes":
Token-Skeletons, that grant you tokens on death, Sacrifice-Skeletons, that allow you to sacrifice creatures for effects, and captains, buffing up your skeletons.
To give it a more interesting edge, you can make the tokens 0/0, so they need their captains to stay alive.
#13
Posted 17 October 2013 - 07:07 AM
bloodclaw43
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i see where your comeing from i was think about a card something like this {B}{B}3 Skeleton Monstrosity Trample 4/4 ofc hes a skeleton so he gains the buffs and he drops three 1/1 black skeleton tokens on death. a card like this benefits alot from the exalted power and you could build you deck around him in the draft ( since this is a draft set) thinking common or uncommon at this stage
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