Multiple Keywords are generally strung together with commas, should make the card look a little less squished in there.
I think its alright. 8 might actually be a little too much given his abilities are 4 anyway. Could probably do 7 or 6.
Very nice, not because the original card was magnificent, but because you tried, gave your honest experience, and accepted advise!
Now.... as for the card. Don't necessarily think that these are changes you need to make, but just consider them. If you think they are good changes, perhaps you should use them. I won't judge either way, everything's open here. (I'll try to keep this sweet and simple)
Aesthetics (looks)
That name just looks really big when I look at it. Consider shortening by cutting out "the".
The mana cost of the card is kind of just hard to pay rather than being meaningful. Consider changing it to [3] colorless mana, then [2] of one color, then [1] of the other color. What this does is it lets you define the card more. If you want a more lawful and judgemental/pure card, go for [2] white. If you want a demonic, evil, ruthless card, go for [2] black mana.
Balance (what it does)
Haste, Flying, Exalted. This makes a really strong combo, consider turning his P/T down a notch and making him a 4/4.
His activated abilities: I would shorten their costs to 3, but then make them only target one creature. Targeting two creatures just doesn't make sense on a card with Exalted, which means you attack with one creature.
Afterword
None of these are needed changes, just my take on things, feel free to change your card how YOU think it should be. Welcome to the site!
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